I see your lips moving, but I can’t focus on what you are saying. I am a distracted mom, my mind is absorbed in a million little things that involves piecing together the dissolving sand castle that symbolizes mine and my children’s lives.
I’m sorry if I seem preoccupied.
There hadn’t been a lot of thinking the past few days. Just reactive planning as I made sure I was ultra prepared for the day’s activities. And reactive parenting, talking my almost two year old through his actions and emotions. I was also determining how to keep my 10 week old happy, be it a diaper change, nursing session, or genuine face time.
My thoughts raced over every calculated decision like ants over a crumb-littered deck.
I may be a distracted mom, but I am merely keeping my little family afloat the only way I know how.
I’m watching my newborn on the monitor waking up early from his nap. Calculating the schedule for the rest of the day, I am trying to make sure there are enough nursing and sleeping sessions so that we both get shut eye for the night. And I’m having a hard time remembering whether I fed him on the right or left side.
I’m side-eyeing my toddler pushing his way to a new toy and toddler. He’s currently learning how to share. Half-listening to the conversation with the person (probably another distracted mom) right in front of me, I’m shouting the proper way to share and take turns across the room.
I’m managing my newborn’s and toddler’s coexistence so that my toddler learns how to interact with his new brother. Making sure my toddler doesn’t permanently hurt his brother, I am trying not to take it personally that my toddler now loves hitting as a new sport.
I haven’t gotten to the end of any day without crying. But I hold a smile anyways because motherhood is supposed to be joyful and kids are a blessing, right?
I’m planning next week’s meals and snacks, mentally browsing the shelves of my fridge, making a list of what we will need and what everyone will eat. I feel guilty setting the baby on his back on the floor, but there is literally no other time to make a list of groceries and plan breakfasts, lunches, and dinners.
I’m preparing—once everyone goes down for the night—for the next day; filling water bottles, making snack packs; running through tomorrow’s events in my mind so we don’t run in to too many scheduling pitfalls. Because my toddler has a laser focus that can see every opportunity to break a rule.
You see, I don’t WANT to be a distracted mom. But these scenarios are my everyday.
I’m looking at you, “listening,” but I don’t remember the last thing you said. I can’t answer your question because…wait. Did you ask a question? Was that pause in the conversation a need to respond?
It’s not that I don’t care. It’s just that I’m a bit distracted by the little things. By my daily to-do list. By my need to stay on top of things.
Is this you, mama?
Do you get distracted as well by the little things?
If so, I’m right there with ya.
You may be distracted during conversations, unable to focus on the task at hand. You are trying to raise your littles and also have adult conversations to make you feel human.
Even though there is joy in motherhood (oh I heard that little snort! yes, it seems extremely difficult to find sometimes. But there is so much joy!), it’s hard to pull my focus from the little, day-to-day disturbances that break the balance.
But I think this is where the refining of being a mom happens. This is where God pulls us from our comfort zones. He breaks up the routines we so readily rely on, and shows us that the world keeps turning. Despite crazy days, self-destructing toddlers, and newborns that keep you up all night long, there is strength, sanity, and willpower through the power of Jesus. The deep-rooted joy is not found in my circumstances but in the tried and true character of God.
As moms, we’re allowed to FEEL overwhelmed, RECOGNIZE that we’re overwhelmed, and SAY that we feel overwhelmed.
And then do with that information what you will:
🔅Ask for help.
🔅Find some alone time with God (yes, I said it, alone time WITH God).
🔅Read scripture, any scripture, to bring you back to the truth that brings joy and peace.
🔅Ask God for wisdom in how to move forward from the place you’re in.
🔅And then trust the process. Trust that God is moving your heart. Renewing your mind, giving you the strength you need to move forward and not be so worried about the little things.
Every day holds new opportunities to redirect our thinking, calm our mind, and rest in God’s grace and power over our lives.
So, imagine, mama, you find yourself one afternoon with sleeping kiddos and a short to do list (we can dream, can’t we?).
Your mind runs in circles as you cross all the bases of what you COULD do. You feel yourself unraveling quickly, worrying about what needs to get done for upcoming events.
But then you feel a sense of something peaceful. An invitation to rest in God’s presence. To quiet your mind, sit in the stillness, and just think. To forgo the schedule and allow some creative, constructive wandering.
Mama, welcome this quiet invitation, cease your planning, pull out a snug blanket, and close your eyes for a minute.
I urge you not to push the invitation to the side. Welcome the invitation as you would a warm breeze on a cool spring day, the azaleas blooming pink and white, crisp white clouds against a pale blue sky.
And when you do this, your heart will slow its anxious beating, your distracted mind will slow its anxious thoughts, and your body will feel peace beyond understanding.
Father God, thank you.
Thank you for pursuing me, my heart, and my distracted mind.
Am I a distracted mom? I’ll admit I am. But thankfully I don’t believe in a distracted God.
As you chase after your kids, throwing snacks, advice, and discipline their way, just know God is also pursuing you, guiding your mothering and regenerating your heart and mind so that the distracted bits can comprehend that God has got this. He won’t let you down.
Pray With Me
Dearest God, Oh how I am so easily upended when events of a day start to unravel. I quickly forget who you are and what you’ve done for me through the power of the cross. Oh the power! The mightiness in the love you show me each and every day. The invitation you give me, so unpretentious, each and every day. And yet, sinful to the core, I reject this invitation thinking my agenda is so much more important.
But to be honest, this life I live is for you. The kids I am raising are for you and your glory. I am a mother because you have made me a mom. Lord, please redirect my thinking to the things that matter. To the truths that you sing over me. That I am more than my reactions and circumstances. I am more than my meal plans, nap schedules, and even mothering. I am yours. And when I remember that, I feel your peace instantly. And this peace brings me joy.
Thank you, Lord, for your love for me. In Jesus’ name we pray, Amen.
Here are some interesting blog posts on breathing prayers.
I first heard about this from my friend Leslie Konhaeuser. Breath prayers are such a refreshing way to reconnect with God and get my mind out of the distracted mom zone.
Breath Prayer: A Spiritual Practice for Weary Moms
Breathing Prayer: Devotions for Anxiety
