“Ohhhh my gosh,” I cried, pulling my shirt up above my face. “There’s no way. How do people actually do this!” Tears streamed down my face as I watched what some would say was a beautiful video of a woman giving birth. Not me. Those images alone—seeing a baby come out—would terrify me in the …
**Warning: This post contains sensitive and triggering topics. Please be mindful of reading or sending this post as this writing contains graphic imagery of postpartum depression and suicide ideation. Severe depression robbed me the joy of my second son’s first year of life. I feel a complicated guilt as I look back at photos of …
As we found our way to our seats, nervous energy wound its way around in my stomach. What songs would we sing? What would I hear in the message preached? Ultimately, I wondered if my heart would welcome this new experience in church after such a long hiatus. The pastor asked that we stand and …
“Mommy sad,” my two year old looked earnestly at me; his long, dark eyelashes framed inquisitive but caring hazel eyes. Noticing the tears brimming in my eyes and splashing down my cheeks, my sweet son reached a small palm to my arm and drew me in for a hug. Knowing what I had promised myself …
Frustration was written all over my son’s face. From his red face to the tears in his eyes, I knew nothing I said was making any sense to him. I watched my son try over and over again to shove his high chair into the kitchen counter. He wanted to have his own chair to …
“I can’t believe how awful I was. I keep imagining his sweet little face looking at me like that. How could I have yelled at him with such anger?” I put my head in my hands, sobbing. Overwhelmed by emotion, I imagined my oldest son, my firstborn baby, looking wide-eyed at me, wondering who this …
I was feeling good about the day; joyful and full of life. I had a couple of minutes before Sam was to up from his nap, and, despite my better judgment, hopped on Instagram. Big mistake. Huge. Social media anxiety kicked in full tilt. I immediately saw I had lost some “followers,” which devastated me, …
