Waiting holds a lot of emotions. For a child, it’s an eternal process that gets longer by the minute. For a chronically ill individual, it’s an agonizing process of futile energy that drains every shard of fostered hope. For a newly pregnant mother, the process is terrifyingly exciting and tedious, filled with roller coaster moments of highs and lows.
O come, o come Emmanuel.
God’s people have cried out in pleas of bitterness and sadness for generations. They have prayed for so long that all perspective of future good is abolished. The darkness has surrounded them, masked their vision, and the tangible black seems impenetrable. They have waited in the night, like prisoners in a grimy cell, for someone to come and release them from their hiding, their pain, their subjection.
And in the slow waiting, nothing is happening. Nothing except the slipping away of faith.
But God, our creator, sees us wrestle in the waiting. He sees the child, the pained individual, the pregnant mother. He sees you and He sees me. From the first cells formed, God has been with us.
He lovingly knits us fiber by fiber with intentionality in the darkness of a woman’s womb—fearfully and wonderfully conceived in shadows and shaped in the shelter of a mother’s being. The divine God designs our inner-most souls in the inky black. Although inception is in darkness, the light of God begins pursuing us in these darkest of dark places. From the beginning, He’s weaving a beautiful story together for the good of those who love Him.
And we soon learn that God, continuing his story of love, has chosen the mystery of a woman’s womb for his greatest good yet. Next, we read about an unassuming girl slipping sleepily into her bed for the night.
Mary has just said her nighttime prayers. She is ready to doze off into a dreamless sleep when before she closes her eyes an angel of the Lord appears. A terrifying vision in great light (as all angels seems to be), this angel lays out that God has asked her to carry His son.
Preparing to respond to God’s request, Mary is “deeply troubled”.
Let’s pause for a moment and meet Mary in her fears.
First, this vision is frightening. I imagine Mary immediately gripping on to her self-sufficiency. If Mary is like me, she’s already discounting herself as useful to God; she knows her past and has tried to live a decent life, but alas, sin. Her thoughts are moving faster than actual words forming in her mind, and she’s fearful that she will fail whatever it is God is asking of her.
Second, as a people-pleaser, I immediately think: outcast. If Mary obeys God, she will not be on a “highly favored” journey in the community’s eyes, but the alternative is telling God no. Which is worse?
Third, Mary probably knows nothing about carrying a child except for the horror stories she has been told. And carrying God’s child? Let’s just up the pressure of carrying and raising the savior of the world. I think about my own worries on pregnancy. There are failed pregnancies, unexpected pregnancies, planned pregnancies, but there are always so many worried thoughts that run through a mother’s head during that time. Mary’s fears are growing, and her heart is overflowing with panic.
Lastly, the narrative that Mary is writing in her mind is in overdrive. A virgin who learns she will become pregnant with God’s child. Like, whoa. Anxiety much? Her troubled heart must be thinking, Why me, God?
Fear entangles her heart and her thoughts run wild. The spiral is happening behind glazed eyes before she can slow her thinking down.
But God has seen her and He knows her. He knows us all and tells us not to worry. The angel confidently assuages her that she is the right person for this wonderful act of grace.
For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline. 2 Timothy 1:7
One commentary from Reverend Joseph Benson states that when the angel says to “fear not,” he is “preparing her heart for the reception of his message.” A spirit of fear makes it almost impossible to hear a message from God. Our thoughts become a breeding ground of anxiety. We must subdue each thought, taking it captive, and focus on the fact that if God calls us to something, He must see something in us that we have not seen in ourselves yet.
The bible doesn’t give us a deep dive into her emotional journey, but we know ourselves. We know what this situation might play out if we were Mary. We know that fear sometimes take the driver’s seat, and God asks us to move from our comfort zone more often than not.
And despite what she might feel, Mary obeys and the waiting commences. As we watch Mary, she does three things that we can do in our own waiting.
First, she travels to be with her family to wait. She and Elizabeth are going through similar times, and God has given them to each other. She finds solace in companionship with another believer. Mary finds encouragement and is an encourager.
Sometimes we think that our burdens are too big for anyone else to hold. We keep our pain close to our heart, not sharing what we really fear. There is deep encouragement in releasing the fears and pouring your heart into a trusted person’s hands. We are not made to live the hard parts of life on our own. God gives us community.
Second, Mary believes what God has spoken to her, called her to, and so she is blessed.
“Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill what he has spoken to her!” Luke 1:45
So many times we disqualify ourselves and don’t believe that God has called us to a good and purposeful way. Mary takes God at his word and believes in her heart that he will be faithful to fulfill his plans through her.
We may not understand or be able to explain the decisions that are made when we follow God, but when we believe that God will be good to us, that He will go before us, that He will be faithful to finish what He has started, we are blessed.
Third, Mary sings songs of praise (Luke 1:46-55).
Mary’s song of praise comes during the waiting period. The rejoicing comes when God’s peace is felt. Anxiety is replaced with awe and wonder. Why would God choose me? I don’t know, but I sure am thankful he chooses to think of me at all. Why does the story have to be this way? I don’t know, but I am in awe that God wants me to be part of his grand adventure story.
“Rejoice in the Lord always [delight, gladden yourselves in Him]; again I say, Rejoice!”
Philippians 4:4 AMPC
No matter what, we praise him. Even when it doesn’t make sense. Even when the pain keeps us up all night. Especially when we do not know the outcome or how we will push through, we praise him. Sometimes it doesn’t feel like there is a lot we can do in our waiting time, but to rejoice in all circumstances is what we are called to do. Rejoicing strengthens our hearts and reassures our minds that God is working, even when we cannot see it.
You may be experiencing your own waiting period. Whatever it is your are waiting on, believe, dear reader, that whatever God has said, he will deliver at the perfect time. God is never late (nor early), and yet “…He is the faithful God who keeps his covenant for a thousand generations and lavishes his unfailing love on those who love him and obey his commands.” (Deuteronomy 7:9)
Wait and hope for and expect the Lord; be brave and of good courage and let your heart be stout and enduring. Yes, wait for and hope for and expect the Lord.
(Psalm 27:14 AMPC, emphasis my own)
Your Turn:
- Read Luke 1:26-33 Have you ever disqualified yourself when someone was trying to give you something great, like a promotion, a new title, or even just a compliment?
- What made you think you weren’t worthy of this good fortune?
- How does looking at Mary’s story of waiting encourage your own journey? What can you do in your own waiting that could encourage others in their own walk with God?
Thank you again for joining us this week. I hope you have been as encouraged to read as I have been to write. In case you missed part 1 of our Advent Devotional, click here to read. See you next week for part 3 of our Advent Devotional where our waiting produces light and hope!
- Don’t Let Your Fear Destroy a Peaceful Psalm 23 Perspective
- Self-Sufficiency is Toxic Contrary to Popular Opinion
- Inside the Devastating Mind of Postpartum Depression
- When Your Authentic Motherhood and Creativity Collide
- May We Be Emptied of Everything But Divine Love
