I walk into my house after dropping my boys off at school, and I see the chaotic mess we’ve left behind. In my effort to get everyone to where they need to go on time, the kitchen looks like a war zone: peanut butter smeared on the table, food particles littering the floors, and used dishes displayed on every surface.
The morning ensued like an unexpected storm: whining voices, demands for breakfast and vitamins, and a baby that just wanted to be held.
How does anyone get anything done? Better yet, when I am faced with such opposition every single day, how do I succeed ?
Looking around my house, I only notice smudgy fingerprints, dirty, crumb-filled floors, and a always-needing-to-be-cleaned kitchen. My motherhood becomes the sum of these messes; they become my report card for success or failure.
“Meaningless! Meaningless!” says the [Mom]. “Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless.” Ecclesiastes 1:2
If I let myself sink down into this Ecclesiastical mayhem, allowing it to envelop me and suffocate me, I become very discouraged. I look around and see more failures than successes. I easily lose the plot (aka I’ve lost my way). The only way forward seems to be picking my way out of the debris.
But seeing the wind, he became frightened, and when he began to sink, he cried out, saying, “Lord, save me!” Matthew 14:30
I think I relate most to Peter when I delve into the depths of discomboulation.
Imagine this scene: Peter, a fisherman who is comfortable in a boat, sees his friend Jesus walking on water. Peter trusts Jesus and so he asks Jesus to call Peter to himself. Jesus does, and Peter steps from the boat.
Peter is not just stepping out from a boat onto water. He is stepping away from everything in which he finds comfort: the feel of the floorboards beneath his feet; the way the boat rocks back and forth when the waves hit; the angle of the horizon when out at sea. He knows this boat, these nets and sails, this way of life like the back of his hand. He feels successful in his life as a fisherman. Yet he wants to trust Jesus with all of his heart, and so he asks Jesus to command him from the boat.
But suddenly Peter feels the strength of the wind around him and looks away from Jesus for an instant. In this moment, Jesus asks Peter to do the impossible. Peter realizes that he can’t do it. There is no success here. In his fears, the wind becomes torrential and the waves are thrashing. Yes, walking on water is impossible… He feels like a failure as he tries this new thing.
But with God supporting you, everything is possible.
When we take our eyes off Jesus, everything becomes the wind and waves: our fears of failing our kids, our anxiety over a messy house, the literal crumbs we walk on…everything.
Failure becomes the main idea of our very lives and success seems like a distant dream. We are created by God to glorify God, a main idea missed in the minutia of messes.
“For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through him and for him. He is before all things, and in him all things hold together.” Colossians 1:16-17
Jesus holds Peter’s hand as he steps from the boat, and Jesus holds our hands when we’ve reached the end of our selves. Leaving our zones of apathy, we rely on Jesus to hold us through life.
And so in my comfort of cleaning up messes right in front of me, looking merely at the tiny details amidst the big ideas, I pray for God’s grace and love to be poured out onto the desert ground of my motherhood. May God himself saturate everything we do as a moms, sisters, and wives, providing every possible thing we will need.
As you pour out your time, talent, your fears, you allow God to fill you. We are the water-craving branches, and he is the water-bearing vine. Let us be the green, spirited tree by the living, running stream Himself.
As Peter steps from the boat, he begins to trust the process of walking on water. Just because Jesus called him to walk on water didn’t meant that Peter would be an instant Water-Walker. Peter tried and he failed. But this failure led to an even greater success: seeing Jesus’ outstretched hands waiting to grasp hold of Peter’s hands. Ultimately, Jesus holds everything together when we believe the only way forward is to do it ourselves.
Even if you can’t walk on water yet, this does not mean you have failed.
If God calls you to motherhood, your place of work, a certain ministry (whatever it is), He is faithful to hold your hand when you sink in the water. The minefield of messes is not your success meter.
We will most likely fail at first at whatever it is we do, but we can find success in leaning on Jesus. And I don’t know about you, but I think that type of success is worth pursuing.
Your Turn
Maybe your house is clean but you feel like you’re failing at something else (or better yet, maybe you’ve surrendered to the mess LOL). What would it look like to let go of that “something else” and embrace Jesus?
What is something that you feel like you have failed at in the past, but you were able to let go and give it to God? Did you feel successful? Why or why not?
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Get caught up with the latest from M&M here
- The Turbulent Election is Over, Now What?
- God Loves You, But Does He (Really) Love Me?
- The Best Way to Find Calm in the Heart of Motherhood
- When Your Failure in Motherhood Becomes Your Greatest Success
- Why It’s Important to Have Self-Compassion
