Breaking Free From Social Media Anxiety: 3 Empowering Strategies For A Healthier Online Presence

I was feeling good about the day; joyful and full of life. I had a couple of minutes before Sam was to up from his nap, and, despite my better judgment, hopped on Instagram. Big mistake. Huge. Social media anxiety kicked in full tilt.

I immediately saw I had lost some “followers,” which devastated me, for some reason. My internal anxiety building: Did they not like what they saw? Did I offend in some way? Were they just following me to eventually unfollow me?? Scrolling through others’ posts, I felt the joy I had gained from my quiet time of journaling and reading leak slowly from my soul. Social media anxiety staking a claim in my heart.

I feel confident about writing, finding such fulfilling satisfaction in capturing my thoughts so precisely and sharing these thoughts; hoping someone gleans a much-needed perspective. As I navigate being a mom, I feel this overcoming urgency to write and share. It literally overwhelms me, and I have to write it down.

But right in that moment, looking through others’ glory roles, I felt downright devastated. I thought to myself, Who was I kidding? I couldn’t do this, trying to build a “following,” encouraging other moms and sharing my thoughts and experiences. Who even wants to read what I have to write?

Why do I even bother to engage in social media?

The downward spiral of bleakness caused my thoughts to go into overdrive. Heavy thought after heavy thought fell on my heart until I couldn’t breathe. This is crazy! I don’t even know some of these people yet I want so badly for them to like me! I soon realized the day (and my heart) was being eaten away by the time-suck of social media; so I shut off my phone, strapped Baby Boy into the car seat, and we were off to experience all things happy and wonderful–at no other place but Target.

We were strolling the aisles of Target, window-shopping, and taking our time. I coaxed my mind slowly to become disengaged with what happened earlier: the distress and discouragement of feeling like I was in an uphill battle with…no one? everyone? I couldn’t put my finger on it.

Baby Boy and I had navigated our way to the coffee aisle because come on, pumpkin spice coffee. As I was seeing how many bags of holiday coffee I could cram in my cart (and in our budget), a woman I didn’t know began talking to me. She conversed easily about her French Press, and we found common ground in that we were both once teachers. Through this conversation, she shared about her teenage, now almost-adult son having major social media anxiety, to the point where she had to stay home with him in his teenage years because he was in such a depression about it.

And I thought to myself, God, you are most definitely in the details. Meeting me here in my distress, listening to me vent, showing me I’m not alone.

As this woman–who somehow became a kindred spirit–and I parted ways, I continued to walk and think about my life on social media. Why did I use it? What was it for?

The next morning, during my quiet time, I asked God to illuminate something, anything, in the bible that would help with my overwhelming anxiety about being on social media; to help me cope with all the feelings I was having. I stopped in the book of Jonah:

“Those who cling to worthless idols forfeit the grace that could be theirs.”

Jonah 2:8

Bam. What a blow to my heart. A convicting wave covered me. I was desperately clinging to something that would never satisfy, would never fill me up completely, and would always be a comparison trap. And in turn, I was basically throwing away the grace that was freely given to me. God had given me this precious gift of grace through his Son, and I was telling Him, Lord, I don’t need you right now. What you give cannot possibly fill me up.

But here’s the thing: social media is not bad.

I can’t just put Instagram in the “bad” category, just like people are neither all good nor all bad. I have made some wonderful connections and learned valuable information, all on social media. But when I allow it to control my head and heart social media becomes an idol. When I look to Instagram for my self-worth, my identity, or my happiness, it becomes problematic. And God is showing that, for me, it has the tendency at times to control my attitude. Buuuuuuut–I have three power moves to round-house kick social media to its rightful place.

3 Ways to Put Social in its Place

1. Take a break and limit your time. I take time away from social media. It’s in these times away from social media, I am able to put everything into perspective. I put God back as the king of my heart (He manages it better anyway), and I release my thoughts from constantly thinking about the next post.
2. Determine what you want from it. Social media doesn’t have to be the ruler of your life. You are able to make the rules, and make social media work for you. Think about why you use social media. Is it to promote a business service, have your blog post read, encourage others to buy a product? When you know your purpose for using social media, you are able to use it more efficiently–and not spend countless minutes aimlessly wandering through others’ glory feeds.
3. Expect the worst, and you just might get the best. When I hop on social media, I used to get on thinking about the number of followers I might have gained, the number of likes each post attracted, how everyone would just love the latest blog post I had just dropped (this is where I insert a big eye roll); but that’s just not the case. I know I will see beautiful, manicured pictures and others’ highlight reels, and that’s what I can expect. The followers and likes are just a bonus.

Bottom Line

Social media is here to stay. Whether that is a fortunate or unfortunate thing, only you will be able to say. And just because you are being social, your social media anxiety doesn’t need to shoot through the roof every time you open a social app. Just know, you aren’t the only one feeling some anxiety when it comes to being social. Even the most put-together pictures have a person (or people) behind them that is just hoping he or she will be accepted in the social game. And only you can determine if it’s a game worth playing.