I’m going to be honest and say that no matter where I am in the motherhood journey, I seem to always find a way to cry.
Happy tears because I am so dang proud of who I birthed. And life is good in these moments of clarity, and God loves me and everything is going great.
Sad tears because, at already however many months old my son is, time is going way too dang fast. I need it to slow down for a millisecond while I catch my breath.
Angry tears because I’m just so frustrated that my son should be sleeping through the night now but he is still crying and I read the book that told me the thing and I should basically be better at this whole “mom” thing by now.
Frustrated tears because all I wanted was to be a mom. Now being on the other side of it has me second-guessing what “being a mom” really means. And of course, it’s hard to see how good of a job I’m doing through defeated tears.
Relieved tears when I read my journal from 2017. And I see the journey I have been on and that God has been there with me every. Step. Of. The. Way. He has been faithful to hold all of my tears to produce this big, larger-than-life rainbow that holds His promises.
And you know what? Tears are good. No, tears are better than good, they are desperately needed in your life. Tears are like a salve to your heart, sanctifying it and making it stronger. So I will be thankful for the hard tears, the easy tears, the tears that leave me so blind I can hardly see the way through. These tears bring me back to my knees in humility, and that’s exactly where I want to be.
Prayer:
Dear Heavenly Father, I confess that I thought I could run this race alone. I seem to cry all the time. Thank you for the tears you send that cause me to rely on you more and also the tears that show me the true joy you have to give. Please help me to continue to look for you in all of my tears. In Jesus’ name, I pray, Amen.
