The Best Way to Find Calm in the Heart of Motherhood

“Ohhhh my gosh,” I cried, pulling my shirt up above my face. “There’s no way. How do people actually do this!”

Tears streamed down my face as I watched what some would say was a beautiful video of a woman giving birth.

Not me. Those images alone—seeing a baby come out—would terrify me in the months leading up to the birth of MY baby. How do women do this? Multiple times???

I had chosen (before actually being in the labor process) to have an epidural-free birth. So my doula, husband, and I were preparing ourselves by taking a natural birth course. Little did I know I’d be watching women birth babies at the end of each lesson.

I continued to fearfully cry through each birth story until my husband asked if this was really the best way to get prepared for labor and delivery.

Finding God in the stillness

I usually find God when my mind has quieted its own panic, my body is exhausted from its own tension, and I am at the end of what I know to do.

You could say, when I am at my wit’s end, this is where I find God. No more tools or actions could get me any closer to his peaceful, good presence.

Be still and know that I am God…
Psalm 46:10

I remember those moments of watching birth stories vividly as I waited for the birth of my first child. The terror that lay before me was very real.

But I also remember finally finding peace at the end of my terror. And then later birthing two more babies with no epidural. Go figure.

If you are a mom of littles or have been a mom of littles, you know that after every storm comes a stillness. I see this most plainly in the morning hustle. The kids wake up like mini-hurricanes, demanding breakfast, vitamins, more water, get me dressed, etc. The storm never seems to stop.

But then, out of nowhere, when I least expect it, two boys are quietly playing together in the playroom, baby sister is tinkering with her own toy, and I’m left with two decisions: enjoy the calm at face value OR feverishly clean up the wreckage the hurricanes left because I don’t know when they will strike again.

If I choose the latter, burn out is sure to ensue. The former brings a time of reflection, a chance to pray and hear God’s voice. The latter makes me feel good because I get to check things off my list, but then I am finding solace in what I can do and not what God can do through me. If the purpose for my day hinges on me “getting stuff done,” then I avoid being relational and learning to look to God for my confidence, direction, and justification.

How do we find calm when the way forward seems terrifying?

‘The Lord replied, “I will personally go with you, Moses, and I will give you rest—everything will be fine for you.”
Exodus 33:14 NLT

When we stop our striving to acknowledge our need for God and His purpose for our lives, He gives us rest and peace. We can stop our worrying and accept that we are not in control, and we can stop our longing to recognize that God satisfies our desires with Himself. He gives good gifts in his good timing.

Jesus is with us always, but He is most clearly seen in the still moments of our motherhood. When we have the presence of mind to recognize that He is working this crazy mess for the good of those who love Him, we can catch glimpses of the work he is doing in, around, and even through us.

Instead of only looking for “Jesus moments” expecting huge miracles, we can “be still and know” that Jesus is sitting in our midst, smiling at, joking with, or warmly walking with us . Our most wonderful friend, brother, and confidante is with us now as we go about our day.

He is peacefully right beside us as we wait for labor to begin.

He is patiently placing his hand on our arm when we fall down in exhaustion wondering when we will get a break. He is counseling our inner-thoughts when we want to roll our eyes and ask our kids, “Really? You’re really going to do that again after I just told you not to do that??” (I know I can’t be the only one with kids whose first instinct is to see what they can get away with lol)

There are times in our motherhood that feel like hurricanes, and we wonder where the calm is. Where is the still eye of the storm? The calm is found in the eyes of Jesus. Looking to him and remembering what he has done brings peace and calm. Looking to the cross and remembering that He has died the ultimate death for our freedom and to draw us even closer to the Prince of Peace himself.

“‘Lord, help!’ They cried in their trouble, and he saved them from their distress. He calmed the storm with a whisper and stilled the waves. What a blessing was that stillness as he brought them safely into harbor! Let them praise the Lord for his great love and for the wonderful things he has done for them.”
Psalms 107:28-31 NLT

What a blessing for the stillness. Use those lucid, still moments to remember truth, renew trust, and allow God to redeem the fears that cripple our every movement forward. God is with you, dear one. There is nothing to fear.

Five takeaways for a Jesus-Filled Motherhood

1. Embrace Stillness to Find God:

Find God in moments of stillness, particularly when the chaos of motherhood feels overwhelming. This stillness allows for a deeper connection and the ability to hear God’s guidance and reassurance.

2. Overcoming Fear Through Faith:

Faith and trust in God can help overcome intense fears and anxieties. Finding peace and strength in God helps us face the challenges of motherhood.

3. God’s Presence in Difficult Times:

God promises rest and peace even during the most challenging times. We can find solace in the belief that God is with us in every step of our motherhood journey.

4. Acknowledging God’s Control:

By stopping the constant striving and worrying, we learn to acknowledge that we are not in control, but God is. This realization brings a sense of calm and purpose, reminding us that God provides and supports us in His own timing.

5. Taking Moments to Listen to God:

Pausing during busy moments in our day to listen to God is crucial to sustaining us. Instead of using every quiet moment for productivity, we can use this time to hear God’s voice and receive His wisdom and encouragement.