Step, step, stumble, fall. Right back up. Step, stumble, fall, up, then right back down. Little, rounded feet summon the courage to try again. Moving to a downward dog position, rump in the air, pushing his body to a standing position. Here we go. Protruding belly and arms gaining balance. Over and over and over he tries, gaining speed, only to plummet to the ground. His hands are quickly learning to catch himself before his body crashes into the tile.
Yes, I will have gray hair by the time my son is two.
Actually my son is merely learning how to walk.
This has been the first big activity that I have been terrified of observing him practicing over and over. He does a lot more falling than stringing of steps together. But he is so brave in his attempts to learn the art of walking. It’s absolutely amazing how many times he has practiced and how much he has progressed.
Practice makes…well…it makes a frustrated eye see you’ve got a lot more to practice.
My son practices everyday gestures I take for granted over and over again. He points his finger multiple times trying to master English, and I help him with words. The same words get repeated several times. Every time my son plays too rough with our sweet Goldendoodle, I blurt out, “Be gentle!” because saying this one time just won’t suffice. Let me clarify, hasn’t sufficed.
I also kiss his checks, rub his little back, and make him laugh as well as tell him “I love you” just to remind him how much I love him. He is practicing being a human in this world, and I am practicing unconditional love.
This back and forth reminds me of my own need for repetition.
In order for me to live like I believe what I’ve been told about the Gospel, I need to hear it over and over again. For these truths to gain traction in my mind and to really sink into my heart, I have to practice. Exactly as my son is doing.
Why do I need to hear something again and again to believe it? And why, even when I’ve been told so many times, do I still need daily reminders?
Thankfully (?), I’m not the only one.
This theme of “over and over” is illustrated in the book of Exodus.
In the book of Exodus, specifically chapter 14, the Israelites are complaining to Moses (surprise surprise). It seems that they have done a lot of practicing in this area…I digress…
The Israelites have been led out of Egypt and are wandering around in the desert while God hardens Pharaoh’s heart. God has a plan. He has been very clear about this plan. And yet the Israelites don’t believe it; they don’t care to read between the lines.
God continually protects the Israelites as they make their way to the promised land. And at any first sign of trouble, the Israelites begin to doubt that God is really good.
Why?
Because, based on God’s plan, Pharaoh “catches up” to the Israelites. And the Israelites, despite all that God has done for them up to this point, fear Pharaoh greater. The Israelites have made Pharaoh greater than God. And they continue to complain. They moan that it would have been better to stay, serve, and die in Egypt than to have followed Moses into the wilderness. Ouch.
And literally right after the Israelites gripe and grumble that God’s way is not the best way, God parts the Red Sea for the whole complaining lot. Anyone else convicted?
Exodus 14:14 rings true, “The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.”
Note to self….silence my inner-critic and let God take the lead.
God has given them food, He has been a lamp to their feet and encamped around them as they have traveled from Egypt to the promised land. He has shown them over and over again how He will protect them, take care of them, and love them. Yet, no matter how many times God shows up, the Israelites’ fears grow bigger than God at the first sign of trouble.
And I hang my head because I am no better than a stubborn, complaining Israelite.
When I take time to think about different events in my life, I can clearly see God’s faithfulness. His words ringing true in my own life. God has fought for me every step of the way. Even when I chose not to see it.
And just like my son practicing, I have to hear something over and over again in order for these messages to ring true in my soul. And even then, I forget in a passing second and need the reminder yet again at the end of the day. Every hour I need thee, Lord.
Do you feel like that? Do you have to hear something, see something, taste something again and again just to allow it to become part of who you are?
I think about my own writing and how there are a lot of people like me writing about different motherhood adventures and how these adventures show the Gospel.
Do I get discouraged and jealous even though I feel like God has called me to write what’s on my heart? Yep.
Do I want to throw my pen down and shout, “what’s the point?” Oh yeah.
Do I sometimes look at what the world is criticizing or rejoicing rather than look at what God thinks of me? Oh sheesh. Yes.
The ideas I write about are not new. But the hope is someone hears these words in a new way. And that gives me a great deal of confidence and purpose in my writing. Someone who has heard one of these truths before, but needs to hear it again in a new way, my blog can be either a starting point or a bridge. A beginning or a linking of two ideas.
But this won’t be the last time they need to hear it. Other blogs, podcasts, Bible studies will come their way to reiterate what they know to be true and what they need to hear again and again.
If you’re like me, you need to be reminded every moment of every day how much God loves you.
Like, that mistake you just made before hopping on here? Forgiven. The way you spoke to your husband earlier? Forgotten. As we constantly sin, God constantly forgives, forgoes, and continues doing what He does so well…loving us and keeping no record of wrongs.
Over and over again God proves His love.
Event after event and time and time again God is always working to show us His love. Even when we protest and whine, He shows us that we are worth more to Him than anything else in this world. Thank you, Lord.
So, just as my son is learning how to walk, talk, and think, I learn to grow in patience and love. Recognizing that God is just as patient and loving with me, I will be that grace to my son. As I continue learning what it means to walk after Jesus, talk as He would, and think about all the good things He has said, I will trust that some lessons are worth repeating. And having to hear again and again how much God loves me? Yes, please. I pray, even when it’s hard to bear, I will always gladly welcome the lesson…over and over.
Prayer
Dear Heavenly Father, good and gracious and loving as you are. I thank you that you are my guidepost for bringing me back to the truth. Thank you for constantly pursuing me again and again as I run from you. Thank you for being a good shepherd to this wandering, quibbling sheep. I admit that I have to learn some lessons more than once because I just don’t “get it” the first several times, but I ask that you would never stop showing me. Lord, your love is greater than anything this world could ever give, so I pray to continually lift my eyes to you for all wisdom, courage, and direction. In Jesus’ precious name I pray, Amen.
