In fiction work, there are static characters and dynamic characters. A static character stays the same throughout a narrative, never changing. They don’t really impact the story with revelations or different perspectives. Dynamic characters are constantly changing and growing as they go through major transitions and are routinely in a process of learning about themselves, other characters, and the world around them. Depending on the fiction, you can even imagine these dynamic characters beyond the ending of the story as they continue to maneuver all that life throws at them.
Your life is also full of these characters. Static characters come and go in your own story; they’re fun to talk to and hang out with, but they seldom leave an impact. You rarely notice their comings and goings except when someone says, “Remember {so and so} from {insert place}?” And you remember that “Oh yeah” they aren’t in your life anymore, and now they’re just somebody that you used to know (Gotye, anyone?).
A dynamic character doesn’t just breeze into your life. He or she settles in like a much-needed nap to a cranky, overtired three-year-old. They vacuum the dust balls underneath your couch, throw away your overflowing trash, wash your piles of dirty laundry, and scrub the stubborn soap scum off your shower’s windows. They change you for the better, grow with you, and before you know it, you can’t live without them. You don’t want to live without them.
That’s my dear husband.
Finding Your Dynamic Soulmate
When you date, it’s exhausting. You meet tons of guys. And some of them are reeeeeal characters, amiright? You don’t know if these jokers (ahem, I mean characters) are going to be just another static person in your life or grow into an actual dynamic person. Meeting that dynamic someone is a scary concept, but you’re praying to God that you actually meet him. The character who pushes you to learn about yourself (all the good and yucky parts), moves you closer to God (even if that means pushing you in a direction you’re not comfortable going) and grows all the best qualities of you (especially when you just want to stay static).
But if God intends, you meet that dynamic character. Then you enter into a life-changing, topsy-turvy world, and it’s scary and exhilarating and sometimes just plain fun.
And Then He Appears
Many dynamic girlfriends have blessed me. God knew I needed these women’s influences in my life to bring me closer to Him. But one dynamic man, in particular, has blessed me beyond words. One I call friend, husband, and brother in Christ.
It’s funny. When I met my husband for the first time, I didn’t know he would be my husband. Sorry, this was not a “love at first sight” story. But I did know there was something special about him. Something different about him that all the other jokers (geez, I should stop…I mean…characters ;)) didn’t have.
Jonathan looked at me so intently. His eyes looked passed my make-up and laboriously hand-picked outfit, as though wanting to know my heart first and foremost. He asked me questions about myself, leaning in as I talked, truly listening to what I had to say and then responding in kind. There was a genuineness about him that was so real and almost tangible. I knew this guy was going to be someone special to me, I just wasn’t into labels at the time (oh brother…).
A Man of Character
We ended up dating and getting married (surprise!) and having our son. And through it all, we have learned lessons about ourselves and each other. I watch the man I married grow from friend to boyfriend to husband and now to a father. I see his heart, so earnest and eager, growing in love and compassion as we learn to raise our son together.
My husband is someone who thoughtfully pours into people, encouraging them and building them into the potential they hold. He is a man who sincerely explains all he has learned so another person can benefit from what he has learned. He incessantly prays to God. Not for the things he wants but for the people he cherishes and for the man he wants to become. He doesn’t care for gifts himself but enjoys blessing others with gifts. He always has a knack for finding the most thoughtful gifts. And most importantly, he’s a simple man at heart, ultimately seeking to be heard and understood by those he loves.
He is a man who loves keeping community and shares my love for hosting others. He listens to me even when I feel like I’m complaining about the most trivial items and comforts me when I don’t have the words to explain what I feel. He asks that I tell him what needs to be heard, not just what he wants to hear. He lets me be my goofiest self, and in turn, becomes completely goofy himself. Plus, he’s just so gosh darn cute!!
Bottom Line
This man is everything God intended for me. Before I even knew what I wanted for myself in a husband, before I knew for what to ask, God was planning for us to love one another so that we could love Him more. Being married to Jonathan embodies every way God wants to show me His love.
I know it’s hard to imagine characters changing so deeply, but dynamic characters are in constant emotional motion, each life event causing us to reassess and manage our lives. Each fork in the road causing us to ask for wise decisions based on truth and prayer.
Characters like this don’t come around all too often. But when God blesses you with a dynamic character like this, you thank Him. And God, you have been so so good to me.
Happy Birthday, my love!
Next Steps
Here are five fierce ways to show your husband love!
Also, here are five powerful prayers for your husband!
