The day was particularly grueling. Breakfast was a scrambled mess with a fresh side of irritation, our homeschool morning ended in eye rolls and defeat (me), and the day spiraled into a discouraging rage of tears and meltdowns. Being one to keep her cool, I usually could keep my peace, patience, and poise to move …
The balloon filled and filled and filled. The latex stretched tighter and tighter. Shiny and very tranluscent, the balloon had to burst at any second. No more air could possibly squeeze into the tight oblong ball it had become. And then finally…POP. Cue confetti, tears, relief, anxiousness, all the oxymorons that come with a presidential …
I stare intently at the lyrics on the screen. I feel my vocal chords strain as I try to project my voice louder and louder. Maybe the louder I sing and the harder I stare up at the black ceiling of the church, the more likely God can see how much I need him to …
“Ohhhh my gosh,” I cried, pulling my shirt up above my face. “There’s no way. How do people actually do this!” Tears streamed down my face as I watched what some would say was a beautiful video of a woman giving birth. Not me. Those images alone—seeing a baby come out—would terrify me in the …
I walk into my house after dropping my boys off at school, and I see the chaotic mess we’ve left behind. In my effort to get everyone to where they need to go on time, the kitchen looks like a war zone: peanut butter smeared on the table, food particles littering the floors, and used …
I grew up terrified of dogs. Deathly afraid. If I heard a dog bark, my heart would ramp up in speed, my body ready for flight AND fight. If I saw someone walking their dog on the sidewalk, I’d cross the street so I wouldn’t come close to the dog. Forget being afraid of scary …
Nearing the evening, fear likes to invite itself onto my chest. He has waited all day and now has my full attention. The light is fading, the sun is setting below the trees. My throat tightens, my breathing gets more shallow, and I feel my body tense. Anxiety and fear loom in the darkness like …
“This is for you,” my small group leader handed me a verse card, eyeing me tenderly. Through tears, I looked at the verse she had given me. I had seen this verse so many times before, even sang the song from time to time. But that day, the words seemed new to me. Although scripture …
**Warning: This post contains sensitive and triggering topics. Please be mindful of reading or sending this post as this writing contains graphic imagery of postpartum depression and suicide ideation. Severe depression robbed me the joy of my second son’s first year of life. I feel a complicated guilt as I look back at photos of …
I love how toddler stories morph into life lessons that relate to God’s work in my own life. I see the correlation between what my kids’ are facing and what I’m facing. There are parallels that, as a writer, I can see more clearly than some. And maybe the correct word is not just see …
